It seems like every training cycle, no matter what you’re training for, it happens. Just like every other run you start out and things are going okay. I started out on my tempo run Thursday morning after having a good training run on Tuesday and just had that feeling. In the pit of my stomach, I just knew the run was going to be hard. I tried to get my head into the game to run and I just couldn’t flip on the switch to get my legs moving at a decent pace and feel good. Sometimes it happens in the warm up, and then by the time I’m warmed up, I can get going but that morning, I started already feeling defeated.
After the warm up, I decided I would do 4 miles at tempo instead of 6, to at least give it a shot. I ran my normal route and just tried to get into my head to make myself run like I have been and it just wasn’t happening. It was so frustrating and I just kept beating myself up every mile. I wasn’t running fast enough. I couldn’t get comfortable. I signed up without much training, I’m not ready to run that fast. A marathon is just SO far. I just got deeper and deeper into the negative zone about my upcoming race when I finally snapped out of it. I started the cool down and cut my run short. It wasn’t helping anything and it was only making me feel horrible.
I think a run like this happens every training cycle. You beat yourself up, question all your training and the distance you’re about to run. Normally, when I run I never think about any thing actually running related. I think about life, family, friends, work, the team I coach, but never really my upcoming race and today it was all I could think about, literally flooding my thoughts. It all just came out on this run, and I’m glad it did with some time left before race day. I can rebuild a little bit and make sure that my confidence is in the right place come race morning so I don’t question myself out there on the course and that I believe in myself.