A big sigh

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was pretty emotional watching the elites finish Boston and shed a few tears. It was hard because when I qualified last May, this race was all I was thinking about running wise. I knew the day would be hard for me, and I was dreading it since the time I made the decision I wasn’t going to be able to run. It was tough, but it was also a great reminder to me that I qualified once and I can do it again. It was also great to see some of my friends run and I was so happy that they were able to run the race. I tried to focus on the fact that I did qualify and that there is a lot of exciting things happening this year for us, even if Boston wasn’t one of them.

At the end of the day, I was glad it was over and breathed a big sigh of relief because I made it through the whole day and it was something I was so nervous about for so long. The one reassuring thing was that I know I couldn’t have run the race at this stage. I am still not feeling excellent and running has been very challenging. Trying to push my body that far would have been miserable so that really reminded me that I was doing the right thing. As for running lately, it’s still pretty limited but I think now that Boston is over I will feel better about running less. I’m running about 10 miles a week and walking about 5 miles a week. I usually go out to do a 2-3 miler and then end up walking a mile after. It’s nice to be able to get out and still run a little bit and the weather lately has been exceptional. We have just finished up our invitational track schedule so my Saturdays are going to be more free, so that means I can hopefully go out for a longer run/walk. It’s a different type of mindset that I’ve had to develop but I am starting to enjoy it more and embrace what I can do!


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Taking time away from running

When I blog, I usually pretty much stick to talking about running. So the fact that I’m not running much right now leaves me with, what I feel like, little to blog about. I have tried to run and usually it just turns into a walk. Now that I’ve accepted that it has become much easier to do and I enjoy it more, but I still really miss running. I have continued to feel pretty sick, so I know I made the right decision about Boston, which I’m glad about. I was kind of worried I’d wake up one day and feel completely normal and have a lot of regrets, but that hasn’t happened at all. At the same time, it has been hard to keep getting the emails and seeing all the excitement leading up to the race.

I still get quite a big dose of running by coaching the high schoolers daily, but I miss going out and just being able to do a 3-6 miler in the mornings or evenings. I have come to realize that it was really ‘me’ time. I got to sort out my thoughts, enjoy the weather, and just get lost in the area I was running in. I keep hoping to feel better to try to go to the gym, or try to run more, but I just always get set back with feeling sick, or getting a headache, or right now I’m dealing with a cold I’ve had for two weeks and then I can’t make it. I’m going to try to go to the gym this week and try going on the elliptical and see how I do on that.

B and I had a great Easter though. Saturday we went to church and had a big dinner at his parents house and then on Sunday he worked so I went down to the station to see him for a while. It was a great day and though I have this darn cold, we’ve been having such nice weather and it was good to see our families. Screen Shot 2015-04-06 at 8.03.17 PMSo that’s what is up with my exciting, non running filled life. Without running there isn’t AS much to talk about here on the blog… but I’m finding a new normal and I’m sure I’ll have more to post about soon! :)


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Saying Goodbye to Boston

Saying Good Bye to BostonThis is a blog post that I definitely didn’t want to write and as I wrote it, the tears came back. After a lot of deliberation and weighing my options, I have decided not to run the 2015 Boston Marathon. As many of you know, I qualified back in May of last year, and was ecstatic, thinking that I would never have the opportunity to qualify. I registered and got in and B and I immediately booked our trip there. I started training in December and January. If you read my recent post, at the end of January B and I found out I was seven weeks pregnant. This explained my slower running throughout the month and me feeling ‘off’. After the news and approval from the doctor, I spent all of February trying to get in my long runs in and focusing on my mileage. It was very difficult and I was miserable every time I ran, which was very hard for me. I’ve never not liked to run and struggling so much, feeling horrible and not enjoying it was a new feeling for me. I gagged a lot and could only run very short distances.

At the beginning of March, I thought that I would work on starting over and not worrying about my miles as much, and I was entering my second trimester, where everything was magically suppose to get better. I tried to run and every time I ran I would only make it 4 miles before I would walk and not be able to run anymore. The first mile would be okay, after a bit of gagging, I would feel fine, the second mile would be great and then third mile would be fine, but right as I hit 3.5 miles, my body would just stop running, so I would finish the four miles and walk the rest of the way home. Just the other day I felt so good and was over zealous thinking I could easily do a 6 miler! I did a longer loop and just like normal, I had to stop at 4 and walk the 2 miles home.

After three weeks of attempting to run more than 4 miles and not succeeding, I started to grasp the reality that I was not going to be able to run Boston this year. I knew it was always a possibility in the back of my mind, but never thought it would actually happen and I would have to make this decision. I thought I would feel better or at least be able to run 10-13 miles and then I could walk the rest of the race, but four miles is a very, very long distance from 26.2 miles. I also have a very sensitive stomach (I take 3 Imodium when I run a full marathon) when I run and knowing I didn’t had the opportunity to practice fueling while pregnant also helped me make my decision. It was a very, very emotional decision and the first time I talked about it out loud with some one I could barely even say the words because I knew it was finally true. I wouldn’t be at the starting line on April 20th.

It has been hard because it’s the first question people ask me when they find out I’m pregnant. “What about Boston?!” and recently, I’ve had to hold back tears telling them about how I cannot run this year. As I talked about it with friends and family, they are all supportive either way but I know that at the end of the day if I cannot run more than 4 miles, it would not be a wise decision to attempt to run a full marathon. As the days continued to rapidly count down towards the race I knew I had to make a decision one way or the other. I was really upset at the time, but things have gotten easier and knowing that I qualified and have a new marathon PR still means so much to me. I know I wanted to run Mountains to Beach and leave everything out there, which I did and that race will always have such a special place in my heart. This year, April 20th, will probably be one of the hardest Bostons for me to ever hear about, but I know there will always be more marathons to run and I do hope to run it one year in the future, this just isn’t my year.

I know in the big scheme of things that come September there will be a lot of joy in my life from our new family member and my new running partner, and I know long-term this decision is the best one. After I finally made the decision that I wasn’t going to run and we canceled our hotel room and flight to Boston, I feel so much relief and I knew that I was making the right decision. It definitely stings a lot, but my running lately has felt a little bit more free, instead of the pressure of running with the mindset that I’m so far away from my training plan and how am I ever going to run Boston, now I can enjoy my 4 milers and just be happy I can run at all.

I really appreciated the comments on my last post and the people who reached out to me regarding my decision. I also found these two articles (1, 2)Ā  to be really, really helpful. Here’s to all the four milers I have left to run until September and to those running Boston, cross the finish line with pride!


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Training for Boston… Where I’m At

I started getting back into the swing of training in January. After having a decent base I knew with a few tempo runs I would be able to get right back to where I was and it would help build my confidence. I was motivated and looking forward to training again and I kept the finish line in April on my mind to keep me motivated through the yucky runs. Throughout the month I got in some decent runs and my mileage was increasing, but I felt really tired and out of shape. I figured it was just because I hadn’t run that far in a while. I put together a training plan focusing on a few different things throughout training including a few tempo runs, some long runs and some track workouts to switch things up. I gave myself time to get through the sluggy miles with the hopes that things would turn around after getting into a routine. I finally had a great 10 miler mid way through January and thought to myself, okay I’m over the hump!

Screen Shot 2015-03-11 at 9.04.51 AMSomething was just off though. I went to the doctor to talk about how I was feeling and he told me I was 7 weeks pregnant. It was very unexpected but we are very excited! I am due at the end of September. This really explained a lot about how tired I was and how I felt like I just couldn’t get my body to go all of January, which made me feel better. We had our first Doctor appointment at the beginning of February and I asked about running and moving forward with working out and of course, Boston. Everything was approved as long as I felt fine and they were happy I was running and working out regularly already.

Sadly, throughout the entire month of February, things have only seemed to get progressively harder. Every run in SO difficult and I feel like I can never catch my breath. After a not so great 12 miler, I came home and cried. I truly doubted if I could really run Boston and that’s where I seem to be right now. I feel hungover all day, but I’m not throwing up. I gag a lot especially running. Feeling that way for weeks is a little tough and didn’t help with my motivation. I have talked to a few people about it who have run throughout their pregnancy, and many tell me that it gets much easier once you’re in your second trimester. I just entered that stage, so I am hopeful that things are on the up and up and I will be feeling better soon!

B has asked me a lot about when I will make a decision about running the race and I honestly don’t know. It has been the first question everyone we’ve told that I’m pregnant has asked. “What About Boston?” and to be honest, it was one of the first things that crossed my mind when I found out. I know that I was feeling more and more behind and getting discouraged by not being able to get in the miles I was planning. I think the best thing for me to do at this point it start over and work my way up to a long run closer to race day. I know I was hoping to run fast {around my BQ time} at Boston and so my workouts reflected that and I had quite a few long runs in my plan to make me feel confident come race day. I still have time to get in some great runs and I hope that I start feeling a little better and have a little more energy so I can still run Boston comfortably in April! I know at the end of the day, even if I don’t run the marathon, knowing I qualified still means something so special to me, and I have to focus on that.


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From Running to Running Errands

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Dick’s Sporting Goods. While I was compensated to write a post about Dicks’s Sporting Goods all opinions are my own.

I sometimes feel like I’m always on the go, especially during training for a race because after a run there are so many things to get done in the weekend, from running to practice, to track meets to shopping and family events, there is just always so much going on. Once the miles get longer, there is even less time to accomplish everything. I recently was at Dick’s Sporting Goods and found the perfect running to running errands clothes.


The running clothes are comfortable and I know will hold up well. These Under Armour shorts are super bright and I love the length of them. I recently posted this tank on Instagram but I cannot put into words how much I LOVE this Nike Tank (and they just added 2 new colors!), it has a mesh back and I know will be my favorite thing come summertime. I also got a new sports bra for more support for those lonnnnng runs. Currently, I’m running in the Saucony Triumph shoes which have a bit more support that the Guides and have been helping me while healing from Plantar Fasciitis.

Then, a quick shower later, I’m ready to go. After running, I’m all about comfort. My body is sore and sometimes chaffed and I really don’t want a lot of tight things on, like jeans. One of my favorite sweatshirts, the Adidas hoodie, that is actually my second one, also has my favorite thing, thumb holes and a kangaroo pocket. So, normally, I try to stay away from Nike, but these Nike Pants I’m currently LIVING in. They have the best fit and are so comfortable. Paired up with some New Balance shoes that offer support yet look cute, and a soft Under Armour Sports Bra, I’m ready to run errands all afternoon.

So when you’re looking for a great outfit to run in and one to run errands in, check out your local Dicks for some fun finds.


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