Why is it that whenever I have a great run I immediately jump into the idea of what race I should put on my calendar? Does every one else have this problem? Yesterday morning I ran 5 miles. It was relatively humid and hot, as it normally is in July. I had good music, a decent pace, I wasn’t sucking wind and was in cruise mode. Even after telling myself to relax and enjoy the run, I felt like every step I took I was calculating what race I could run next, how I could fit in my training and what month would be the best for me.
Then a little doubt crept into my mind and I thought of all the hurdles I would face. The dreaded 4 month sleep regression. The heat of August and September. Bryan’s upcoming test for his new position. Would I be ready to even run a race? And then I continued with the comparisons of how I used to run and my times. A lot of times when I run I beat myself up over what I used to be able to do. It’s a constant mind battle of “Give yourself a break! You were pregnant for basically 3 years, have two small kids and were in the best shape of your life before you got pregnant” and “You are never, ever going to be as fast as you were! How did you EVER run marathons at the pace you did?!” It’s seriously a weird place to be in mentally. I’d say 75% of the time, I’m so happy to just get out there and get some miles in, but every now and then those mind games get me and I wonder why I allow them to take over my thoughts and tear me down.
I normally hate this saying but it’s so true and important. I know I need to give myself grace and be patient with where I am. I look back to after I had C and I didn’t run for 3 months after I had her, and this time around I’ve already been running for over 2 months. I also was running much less during the months after having C and not as consistently, and now I feel like I am in a much better place routine wise and can be much more consistent. In May I ran 13 miles, June I ran 45 and this month I’m already at 21 miles, with each of my recent runs getting longer and easier.
On my run yesterday I said it was time to run a race and focus on training for it and no matter what my finish time is, be proud of where I am. So now I’m racking my brain for half marathons in November or the end of October. Do you have any favorites? I want to keep it local and I think I want to shoot for a half because it will give me something to work toward and will increase my long runs on the weekends. I am looking at these three: Revel Canyon, Santa Barbara, and Surfer’s Point. Any feedback on them?
I know when things get tough and I start to doubt myself, I have to do this for myself and training for something will make me a better and happier person to be around. I re-read this post I read shortly after I started running with Cora and it all resonates the same this time around! I’m so thankful for the time I can run and need to focus on how far I’ve come.