It seems to happen every time I train for a marathon. I swear during training I’ll never do it again and before I can stop myself I’m signing up for another race. Then before I know it I’m knee deep in feeling the exhuastion and the “I don’t want to run any more feeling.” If I look back through old posts, it’s the same things posting before every race. I get so caught up in the excitement, I forget that it takes 18-20 weeks of a lot of running to get to a race, and I end up the in same place every time. Hating running. So, with that being said, I’m looking forward to the 20 miler this weekend, to get it out of the way, and then a weak attempt at a taper, and then I know I’ll struggle through LA and Oakland, but I know I’ll finish, and that’s the point right? Not to quit? Thankfully, I know it will be a fun weekend with Maritza and Tara, and we’ll all be struggling together.

I might again have this look on my face though:

And, mark my words, I’m hanging up my full marathon shorts for a while after this race. I’m keeping my credit cards in my wallet, and not perusing sites looking for more 26.2 tours of torture. I’m going to stick with halfs, 5Ks and 10Ks. I need to remind myself that I do like running. I find myself loving the 3-5 mile runs, and loathing the long runs and time I have to put in to train for a full.I love hitting up the gym and leading a healthy lifestyle. I don’t love being savagely hungry, ridiculously exhausted, planning my entire life around when I can and can’t run and ruining my entire weekend barely being able to walk. I just need a break. Since my first marathon in May of 2009, I’ve gone through a lot of changes, and I think calling it at 8 full marathons for a while will suffice my need to keep training. Now I can focus on shorter races, and having fun again. I’m looking forward to not being a slave to my running schedule.

My love for running is diminishing with training so much. I know after the races, I’ll be much happier. I also know that with DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME 8 short days away, I’m excited to get some sun after work and long days for running.

So I’m thinking if I dress up in a tiger like tutu and get a tank top that says WINNING and squirt red water aka “tiger blood” on people as I run LA, maybe it will make for a better race experience? Seriously, I’m contemplating.

So here’s to tomorrows 20 mile death march. At least Maritza said she’ll bring a defibrillator for me.


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32 Responses to Confessional

  1. If you run by me, i will appreciate some of that tiger blood. I wish you luck on both of your races and cheers to your maniac status. as well as congratulations on your engagement the way I see it you’re already “winning”. I can relate to your post though and maybe some shorter races will suit you well. How do you feel about a tri athlon.

  2. Good for you, girl!! I definitely get that feeling of needing a break from running, especially after training for a marathon. It’s hard when your whole life revolves around training.

    PS: where did you find that tutu?? For some reason, I am obsessed with finding/wearing one for a race. :)

  3. RoadBunner says:

    It sounds like you have a good plan to keep you running sane. The thing I enjoy about marathon training is having to get out there to do those long runs (though, as I type this I am procrastinating heading out for my long run today) but I definitely know how they can take over your life. You have an exciting year coming up and I know you’d rather be tending to that.

    Wear the tutu! Super cute & entertaining.

  4. Average A says:

    I can totally related. I don’t have nearly as many marathons under my belt, but I did do 2 back-to-back and that was enough to make me want to take a break for a while. After a year I’m feeling like I can get back into it now. It’s all a matter of reading our body’s signals and doing what makes us happy — that what the sport is about! I’m glad you’re finding your “sane” place and figuring out what works best for you. :)

    Puuuhlease wear the tutu, WINNING tank, & tiger blood squirt gun! PLEASE!

  5. Heather says:


    Good luck on your fulls, and enjoy the “break” :D

  6. Bonnie says:

    Im pro tutu

  7. Ron says:

    I can relate to this. I signed up for a 50 miler (like an idiot) and I’m beyond burned out. The good news is that I’m running Oakland too so I’ll get in a Danica mile :-)

  8. Missy says:

    Love Love the tutu! I’m completely agree with what you are saying, last year I was running like crazy all the time and I ended up with a hurt knee…so this year I am concentrating on my cross-training and working on making my legs stronger for my runs and focusing on running secondary. I haven’t done a marathon yet but I’m attmpting my 2nd and possibly 3rd Half Marathons this year!

  9. chacha says:

    Don’t forget the “Adonis DNA” part. :o)

    I haven’t ran a full since 2003 precisely for the reason of burn out. I have done a butt-load of halves (7 since October), but full is just too much training for me right now.

  10. FunnerRunner says:

    Good luck on your long run…treat yourself to something amazing afterwards!

  11. Morgan says:

    OMG DO IT!!!! LMAO!!!!!! It will be so epic!!!

  12. Ally says:

    Yes, wear the tiger tutu–please!!

  13. I’m on Team Tutu. Do it. Do it and take a million pictures/videos. Seriously that’s hilarious!!

  14. Amanda says:

    If you DON’T wear the tutu I’ll be sooo sad!!

  15. Page says:

    Will you PLEASSSSSE run in that tutu and bring your tiger blood!??! You won’t be bi-polar, you’ll be bi-WINNING!

    Plus, I think you’ll get on the news for that. It’s eight levels of awesomeness!

  16. nicole says:

    that is tu-tu terrific!

  17. Spike says:

    You should insist that someone carry a boombox behind you and play “Eye of the Tiger.”

    Insist until you are red in the face.

  18. Here’s hoping you have a GREAT 20 miler!!!

  19. Stephanie says:

    That is why i don’t think i will ever train for a marathon. I never want to get to the stage of not enjoying my training. Im wondering if training for my 1st olympic triathlon will have the same effect. If so, i’ll stick to sprints and half marathons and those shorter distance runs. I love racing, but the training is what you do week in week out, so also has to be fun.
    Good luck in you marathons :)

  20. Sheri says:

    I think that is a great idea. Hang up the races for awhile. What matters is to keep running and enjoying it!

  21. I can relate. At the end of marathon training I was hating every long run on the weekends, I swore I’d never train for a marathon.Now I’m missing those 1.5-3.5 hr runs and time to myself on the weekends. Hope you have a great 20-miler!

  22. Jenny says:

    OMG! Thanks for posting, I am 7 weeks out from my marathon right now and getting so TIRED of the training! I keep telling everyone that I am quitting after this race ;) I think I am also sticking to the shorter races for a while to give myself a bit of a break. Have a great 20 miler!

  23. Layla says:

    Good for you for going with the decision that will keep you liking the run. This is why I told someone he was nuts for trying talk me into aiming for a 100-miler: I just don’t have the desire to do it! We all need to find what we love and stick to that.

  24. Marathon Maritza says:

    I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about our ‘adventure’ this past weekend, LOL!

    I can’t wait to hang up my marathon shorts too, but I’m so happy I have you to join me in that torture! XOXO

  25. Natalie says:

    usually for me it’s mile 15 or so when I say I’m not doing it again. the training is demanding! hope the 20 went well!

  26. Ryce says:

    I can relate to the burnout as well.

    LOVE ~ LOVE ~ LOVE the tutu! Purely AWESOME!

  27. Nicole says:

    Yup you need a break! Nothing wrong with that! This is why I know a marathon is not the right thing for me to train for right now!

    You have a wedding to plan!!

  28. Chelsea says:

    I have never attemped a marathon, but just my half marathon training is mentally draining me enough. I enjoy not being on such a scheudule and doing the runs that I feel. At the same time, I also like the excitement and teh accomplishments that come along with completing a race. Good luck on your 20 miler!!

  29. Astro says:

    I think you said you a lot of us feel. The training for a full is a lot of time and life. Someday I hope to be able to run a full and not be totally dead for two or three days.

  30. Pingback: Confessional |

  31. Wendy says:

    I do the same thing, and here I am training for another one.
    I love the marathon, but it takes so much time and commitment.

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