So this weekend I was on the go-go-go the whole weekend. I started it off with a great Thursday evening run which got me out of my running rut. Friday morning I overslept :( and couldn’t do my long run that morning before leaving for San Diego for work for the AFC Expo on Friday and Saturday. We left at 9:30 am and got to San Diego right at 12 when the Expo started. Met some great people and finally left the expo at 7:15 pm. We ended up eating at one of the best places I’ve ever eaten at, more on that tomorrow, and hit the hay at 9:30. Had a horrible nights sleep since our hotel room was next to the elevator. All night long. Ding. Ding. Ding. We woke up at 8 am and headed over to the expo with a delicious trip to Starbucks and worked until 5:00 pm and then started the lovely 2 hour drive home. Got home at 7:15 pm, ate dinner, watched Jersey Shore and went to bed at 9 pm, to wake up at 4:00 am to head back to work the OC Fair 5k.
To say the least, my weekend was not really a weekend. Sometimes I look forward to working during the week and sitting at my desk all day one day so I can get caught up on all my emails and just sit for a while.
So after working 8 hours Sunday morning at the Fair 5k, I traveled home, sat for a while and ate lunch. It was actually very warm out so I waited for a while to start my long run. I started at 4:30 pm and made it 10 miles before I was just pouring in sweat and thirsty. I even wore my fuel belt and my water bottles were bone dry. I got picked up by a friend on the side of the road. It wasn’t discouraging, but I am just so busy that it’s hard to make training my priority right no, which is exactly what I said it needed to be on Thursday if you want to reach your goals.
From now until December, my life is going to be completely crazy. I have events basically every weekend. I love it but it does hinder my training a lot. This morning I walked the dogs for a mile and a half and really thought about my goals, my life and the upcoming races I hope to run in. I was hoping to possibly try to qualify for Boston in Camarillo in October. I realized that even thought I want to qualify, right now, I’m not going to have the time to make this a realistic goal. I thought about all the training runs I’ve had and how I feel great, but I’m not at the speed that I want to be or need to be. I also know that I run for me and that’s the bottom line.
It’s hard to realize that right now I don’t WANT to qualify for Boston enough to put in the training that it will take to get me there, nor do I have the time to put in the training.
I have talked to many other runners about this but I have a theory that if you ran competitively previously in high school or college, it’s harder for you to train now to “compete” if you are running for pleasure. I feel a lot of the ‘training’ that I would be doing, would be exactly what I did in high school. It’s interesting to hear so many other people who have the same background as I do say many of the same things about how the feeling of “running for fun” is exactly that. Running for fun. If I start training like I used to, it would become work, like how it was then and I’ve already done that whole thing. It took me a long time to be okay with just ‘running’ for fun. I like racing, I like running but I’m not running like I used to in high school. Where I trained year round and ran competitively and constantly was criticizing myself and pushing myself to the limit. It’s an interesting thought that I consider that I’ve already ‘ran that hard’ and ‘raced’ in my life and now it’s just for fun for me.
Bottom line: Do I want to go to Boston? Yes. Do I want to go right now? Do I REALLY WANT IT? No. Which makes me believe it’s not my time to qualify. I’m just being honest with myself, it stings a little but it’s honest.
I want to have an awesome race in Camarillo. My goal is go to sub-4 again. I want to have fun and have an awesome race in Malibu again. I want to enjoy some half marathons and have fun running. I want to be able to go out and run and enjoy it. Which I’m doing now.
I have a 20 miler this weekend and I know I’ll get it done since we don’t have an event on Saturday, but with vacation next week and North Carolina in two weeks, and then work getting more and more crazy as our ‘busy’ season is just starting, I know my rigid training would be the first thing to suffer. It’s like setting myself up for failure, but I want to enjoy running like I am now. So I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.
So that’s what I thought about on my walk with the dogs this morning at 6:30 am. Who knew?! :)