Adoption April Series: My Birthparents

Welcome back to Adoption April! This post is going to touch on all the facts that I know about my birth parents and how I feel about them, and if I want to meet them and why.

I know my birth mom’s name and my birth dad’s name. There isn’t much information on either of them that my parents collected from them but I am glad that I know their names. I also know their birthdays and I know that she was born in the Midwest.

People always ask me if I want to meet them both or my birth mom. I do! I would love to meet her, and I just haven’t actively pursued it, but I am getting more and more interested in it. I am considering looking more into a private investigator and see what my options are. I know that is expensive though, so that would also take some time. Finding people isn’t the easiest thing in the world. I would also completely understand if she or my birth father didn’t want to meet me though, but I feel that it would be important at this time to get a family medical history report since so many diseases are genetic. I would hope that they would understand that and would be able to give me the family medical report. With that alone I think I would be happy as well.

I know I would be okay if they didn’t want to meet me, because I still think about their situation. Sometimes I wonder what she looks like, and what he looks like, even if they are still together or still talk. I also wonder if I would have any other siblings through either of them. Isn’t that weird to think about? I think that it would be cool to meet them, and see what their lives are like. I don’t want anything from either of them at all, and if they weren’t comfortable with meeting/talking/communication, I wouldn’t force it upon them either. I couldn’t even imagine the shock that they both must have had when I decided to enter the world. I know they didn’t not want me, and I think it would be cool to meet them but I wouldn’t feel rejected or crushed if they didn’t want to meet me.

As of right now, I have no idea where they are, what their lives are like, what they look like, or anything of that matter, but it does interest me. Also if I were to communicate with them, I would understand both of their apprehension if there was some. What would you do if your daughter that you hadn’t seen or heard from in 25 years all of a sudden reached out to you? It would blow my mind. I think there has to be a level of curiousness of both my and her mind though. Is that curiousness enough to pursue communication? I don’t know. Time will tell.

I also realize that they will never replace my parents, and I would never even think that that would happen. I feel that if I was seeking them out because I felt abandoned or like I didn’t fit in with my family, or if  I felt unwanted, it would be a different issue, because then I realize that my feelings would be hurt if they didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

I am glad they made the decision to give me up. I have lived such an amazing life with great people in my life and having them unknowingly give me that opportunity gives me the utmost respect for them.

If you have any questions for the next and and last Adoption April post, please feel free to email me at [email protected] I have a few to answer next week. I hope you all have enjoyed Adoption April!

Here’s a funny picture of me and my brother.

Photobucket

Sorry that one is so bad quality!  :)

xoxo

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13 Responses to Adoption April Series: My Birthparents

  1. I think your story is so cool!
    have you seen that show “I didn’t know I was pregnant” it just blows my mind how someone can not know though lol!

  2. Spamboy says:

    Very cool — I wish you luck if you go down the investigative route. If I were in the same place, I’d do the same thing.

    She can’t be that hard to find — how many people spell their name “Wendee” that way? :)

  3. Vic says:

    Such a cool story. Loving this series!

  4. Tracy says:

    Very cool last addition to the series!

    How can you not know you’re pregnant? That always blows my mind…

  5. Tara says:

    Love this post! You and your brother are so stinkin’ cute! Crazy that your birth mom didn’t know she was pregnant, but I do like that you were a surprise :)

  6. Alexis says:

    Wow, your mom didn’t know she was pregnant! Surprise! Ha. I think adoption is totally the responsible action to take if a person is in a situation where they know they are not or do not want to be the mother that a child needs. They gave you the chance to have a better life, and it sounds like you’re having a great life :) I’m the third of three girls and my Dad jokingly says I was an ‘accident, not a mistake’. I think it’s hilarious, and I must say, a little unpredictability here and there is good for us! On another note, I also lost my mom, about fifteen years ago (I’m 30 now) so I can relate to some of the feelings you’ve shared in your posts.
    Happy Friday :)

  7. Keri says:

    Wow, thanks for sharing so much! What a great story. I have been loving this series and look forward to each post!

  8. Crystal says:

    Wow! I can’t believe your birth mom didn’t know she was pregnant. That is crazy. I think it’s interesting how some people are intersted in meeting their biological parents while others are not. My roommate, Chad and my brother in law, Tyler are both adopted. Chad is actively pursuing finding his parents, while Tyler could care less. I think I want want to meet my biological parents (if I were adopted) for all the same reasons you listed. I also commend you on your positive attitude. I think its very refreshing. I don’t know how it feels to be adopted, but I do know that a lot of my adopted friends tell me they are very damaged because they feel a sense of sadness or abandonment.

    Thanks for sharing your interesting story!

  9. Colleen says:

    Wow, that is crazy she didn’t know she was pregnant! I can’t imagine that! :) that’s a really cool story!

    I know what you mean about wanting to get that medical history. Every time I go to the doctor and they ask if my family has a history of something, I say, “not that I know of, but my mom was adopted.” Sometimes it would be nice to know for sure, but nothing bad has come from it yet.

  10. Seriously, eh?!?! I thought stuff like that only happened on TV!

    Ummm . . . so your birth Father’s last name sounds Hispanic. Are you one of us!??! :o)

    Could you be another long lost Salvi prima!?!? lol

  11. Nicole says:

    midwest represent!! i’m on the hunt for wendee sue!

    love you!

  12. Bonnie says:

    As you know, my BF is adopted. He’s in his early 40s and has never once searched for his birth parents! It’s such a personal, unique decision. Thanks for sharing your side of things. A book you might want to read is The Girls Who Went Away. It doesn’t really apply to your situation exactly (because it’s more about birth mothers from the late 60s/early 70s) but i think it would give you an interesting perspective on your birth mom.

  13. OMG I just got very excited with Torontogirloutwest’s post! COUSINNNNN!!!!

    Why am I not surprised you made such a dramatic entrance into the world, Kooie? ♥

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