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I have no deals today, but instead a rant on dentists.

So I have no deals. I have no deals because I didn’t bother looking last night because I was so tired and full after a wonderful meal at my grandparents that I promptly fell halfway asleep while watching So You Think You Can Dance and forgot that it was even Thursday today.

Sorry to disappoint. Instead, in this wonderful week of losing my mind, I decided to give you, what I think is an entertaining rant on dentists and why I loathe them. You see, I was born without any wisdom teeth in my head, which one of my best friends once called me a freak for, and I like to think of it as a more evolved species, since you get them ripped out anyways. I also don’t have a twelve year molar. Remember these facts, they will come into play later on.

Now, according to my ‘How Well Do You Know Me” quiz via the lovely creeping site, Facebook, my most favorite feature of myself are my teeth. Believe me, teeth are super important to me, for whatever reason. I brush twice a day, if not more, whiten with crest white strips on occasion and did the whole braces for 6 months thing plus retainers for a year.

When I was little I LOVED the dentist. They always told me what a good job I was doing and that I had such nice teeth. Then you get a sweet prize out of the chest at the front of the office. There were fish in a tank to look at (think finding nemo and it kind of makes me sad now), everyone was very nice, and I got shiny clean teeth.

Then in college, I had a blood blister form behind one of my front teeth. It was incredibly painful and I had to have emergency dental work to pop the sucker. I went to a new dentist since it was about time that I stopped going to the children’s dentist. I went on recommendation of a friend and LOVED the doctor I met with. He was so kind, complementary of my teeth and super gentle, which was nice because shoving a needle in that blister hurt pretty bad.

I decided to make an appointment to go back to the dentist for my cleaning. I got a different dentist in the office. This is where my hatred began.

She was rude, told me I wasn’t brushing properly, that I had gingivitis and wasn’t taking good care of my teeth at all. Um, I was shocked, to say the least. I hadn’t changed anything about my brushing habits and I always get complements on my teeth. I never returned after that trip and that is where the disliking of dentists began.

Finally I found a new dentist close to my house that my mom really liked. I trusted her judgement and also fell for the koi pond outside the treatment rooms. He seemed nice, until he started pushing me. Remember how I didn’t have the 12 year molars and wisdom teeth. Well this was the dentist who recommended that I needed to get an implant to make up for the extra space in the back of my mouth. An implant includes drilling a screw into your jawbone, and four months later getting a tooth that screws on top of that screw in your jaw after your jawbone has ‘accepted’ the screw.

I held out for a long time, but his persistence made me think that my whole entire mouth would fall apart if I didn’t get the surgery he recommended. I finally scheduled the consultation and the doctors and staff members told me, oh it’s not a big deal, you’ll be back to normal life, normal eating in no time.

LIES I TELL YOU. I couldn’t eat on that side of my mouth for a good two months. I was so sick after the surgery I couldn’t eat for 3 days, and I was throwing up and couldn’t go to work. Now that I have the tooth, a year later, I still feel like the process was worthless. Insurance didn’t really cover much of it and I still think they should have just ripped out the top tooth and be done with it, since they were worried it would just ‘keep growing downward’ since it had nothing to ‘hit’ to stop its growing.

This leads me to recent occurrences. I went to the dentist back in February, and they insisted I needed x-rays. I told them that I didn’t think it was necessary and I had just gotten them with the follow up of the implant surgery. Then the hygienist brought in the doctor to consult me on why I needed these x-rays. The last x-rays showed that the tooth was in place and the screw was good and everything was kosher in the implant department. He told me he needed to make sure. If he needed to make sure then he should pay for these $75 dollar x-rays and the pain of the ‘bite wings’ shoved into his mouth.

I repeatedly told him that I didn’t need x-rays but they kept insisting. I almost, almost made a scene, but finally just rolled my eyes and gave in. Who gets the bill for $175 dentist appointment now? ME. Who would much rather save their money spend their money on shoes, food, running gear, and clothes? The best part of it all?

He and the hygienist tell me how great my teeth look and how great I am at flossing.

I haven’t flossed a day in my life. Bad, I know, but funny how they complement me on my flossing.

This all was because the account payable called me this morning requested her $175 dollar check and gave me a sad “ahhh ohhhhh” when I said I didn’t have dental insurance. I told her I didn’t want the x-rays and she said “Yeaaaaaa wellllllll we hadddddddddd to take them.” Where are those x-rays now? Sitting in the filing cabinet.

Dentist, our relationship is strained and I’m over you and your surgeries and your x-rays.

This morning I went for a slow 3 miler. I can’t find Claude’s charging station and I’m starting to freak out that I may have to use someone else’s down in SD this weekend.

On another horribly sad note, My 1st gen. iPhone has lived a long wonderful life and now is very sick. You know how some of you have pets and kids. Well this is my 1st born. Of course, I think Apple put a spell on it because there are rumors that in two months a new iPhone will be released. Hang in there little buddy! I don’t really get calls or texts, and when I do it’s like 4-10 at a time. I can still call people though, but it won’t hold a charge at all, so he’s just resting on the charger all day long. I am hoping to keep him going for as long as possible because 2 months of me without a phone could cause some havoc.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is one more day until San Diego, and also Foto Friday!


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