Adoption April : Why I was adopted

So this is the beginning of the Adoption April series that I decided to do. The first topic I wanted to touch on was the reason why I was adopted in the first place. A little back story on my family is necessary since I will be talking about them these next few Mondays.

My mom passed away after a four-year battle with breast cancer on April 6, 2006. Oddly enough that is today, the beginning of “Adoption April”. I know my mom would have loved the fact that I’m sharing my story with so many people. I have a 20-year old brother whom I will refer to as “T”. My father and I currently have a very strained relationship, but before my mom passed things were fine. My family used to be the “perfect” nuclear family, according to many standards. My parents were always happy, and we were more than blessed in the community where I grew up. I grew up in a Christian home and went through a Christian K-12 school system. So that’s a little background of the fam, now onto why I was adopted.

First and most obvious, my parents couldn’t have children. I have been told that not having children of her ‘own’ was one of my mom’s biggest ‘regrets’ in her short life. My parents tried a lot of different ways of getting pregnant but my mom’s body wouldn’t allow her to produce a child, and she had to have a complete hysterectomy in her twenties. They began to look into other options.

I think this is why whenever I stumble onto a blog about a woman trying to get pregnant I feel a twinge of pain in my heart. Sometimes I think maybe this is how my own mom felt while struggling with the fact that she could not get pregnant. I couldn’t imagine when everyone else around you is having children, and you want to have one so badly, how much your heart must ache. It would be miserable, and I feel like I can understand the pain some might be dealing with because I remember my mom telling me about the pain it caused her. I can’t imagine wanting something so bad and knowing it won’t happen for you like you planned. My mom told me sometimes she felt like she failed but I knew she hadn’t. I knew that the struggle she endured only made her a stronger person.

When they realized my mom couldn’t get pregnant, my parents then decided to explore adoption. The fees associated with adoption are costly, and I am glad my parents could afford it at the time. One of the first steps in their adoption process was to create books. Prospective parents created these photo books to ‘show/share’ with birth mothers that you are legitimate people. The books also described their hobbies, the church they were involved with and had pictures of them and their dogs. It is a glimpse into the prospective parents lives. I have seen these books and they are fun to look through. I couldn’t imagine being pregnant and looking through the books and wondering “if my baby would fit in” with this family, but it gives you a sense to the family, their beliefs, their story, and their extended family.

My parents were on the waiting list for a baby for quite some time. They prayed about getting a child. They hoped. They waited. They had no idea when and if they would ever get a child to adopt.

My mom was shopping at Costco when my aunt called her. The adoption agency had called my aunt to tell her that they had a baby waiting for my mom at the hospital. That baby was me. My mom was shocked. There was no talk of her and my dad getting a baby anytime soon. They didn’t have any names picked out. They were not prepared for me, but they were still so excited to have me.

After my mom passed away, my grandpa let me listen to the the voicemail she left for him, and it will forever be etched in my memory. Since then somehow it was eaten on the machine, but I will never, ever forget her voice on that message. The love that oozed from her tone, the excitement, the nervousness. It was all there, and it was all about me, being able to go home with her and my dad, and the beginning of a family.

I was born close to where I grew up and was incredibly small when I was born so they had to make sure that I was healthy and okay to go home. I will get into why it was a surprise when I talk all about my birth parents in an upcoming post but my parents were surprised but so happy that they finally had a baby.

Adoption allowed them to have the joy of having a child, even if I came to them in a non-traditional way. My parents’ prayers had been answered and they were surprised and shocked all at the same time. Now they had a baby to take care of . In the whirlwind of events that had taken place, their lives had completely changed. Though I was originally named Baby Girl Anderson, my parents quickly picked out my name from a list they had compiled for the past years while trying to have a child. I have two birth certificates, and one literally says my first name is Baby and my Middle name is Girl and my last name is Anderson.

My parents took me home from the hospital and I lived with them for a year and a half before being officially adopted on January 23, 1987. In order to make everything official you have to go down to an LA courthouse and sign paperwork and take vows in front of a judge. Obviously I was too little to remember my own adoption, but I do remember my brother’s adoption and traveling to the courthouse.

After the papers were signed I legally was my parents ‘child’. Though my adoption day made it ‘legal’, I consider myself to be my parents child from the day I entered their life and we became a family back on the day I was born at the hospital.

Next Monday I am excited to talk about how I was raised and how adoption was an integral part in my life. What my parents did and how we address my adoption was important to me and I’m excited to share it with you guys. The last adoption post will be about Q&A that anyone has, so if you have any questions, feel free to email me [email protected]

xoxo

PS Tomorrow I will post my race report from the weekend! :)

in Uncategorized

84 Responses to Adoption April : Why I was adopted

  1. Shannon says:

    Thank you so much for sharing! I know this is just the first post of many to come, but I’ve never met anyone who was adopted and I’ve always been curious.

  2. Beanaritadotcom says:

    Awesome story. I have some extended family that were in the same boat and adopted. Their stories are very similar – it’s a long, emotional and costly process but they were extremely excited when they adopted their new baby girl.

    Thanks for sharing!

  3. Nessa says:

    Thank you for sharing, this is awesome. Im looking forward to more!! =)

  4. X-Country2 says:

    I’ve been looking forward to this post all morning. :o)

    Excellent story, very well-written, and I already know to get the kleenex out for the rest of the series.

  5. Mojito Maven says:

    I am so glad you are doing this series!!!!! You are THE BEST! *HUGS*

  6. runsarah says:

    Thank you SO much for sharing. Looking forward to future installments.

  7. Kelly says:

    A very cool story. My cousin was adopted from China, so I’m really interested in the whole process, and I think it’s a wonderful experience for the child and the parents.

  8. A Toronto girl out West says:

    Danica,

    I love this!! Thank-you so much for posting it.

    I have often thought that I may consider adoption in the future. This post is a brilliant example of why!

    It warmed my heart! :o)

    Gracias!

    Karen

  9. kilax says:

    What a great start to the story! I am so excited to keep reading. What a true blessing you were. And what a surprise it must have been for your parents! Can you imagine the look on their face with the foudn out? I bet it was one of the best days of their lives :)

  10. Ashley says:

    I’m looking forward to the rest of your posts. Thanks for sharing!

  11. jessie says:

    I think that it’s really amazing that you’re sharing this with everyone. I can’t wait for the upcoming posts so I can learn more about you and your story.

  12. Legallyblondemel says:

    Terrific post. Thank you for sharing.

  13. Laura Lives Fabulously says:

    Thank you very much for sharing! My husband is adopting and we are wanting to adopt atleast one child in the future. I love your story!

  14. Amber says:

    Thanks so much for sharing that story, this is SO cool! I can’t wait to hear more :-)

  15. skinnyrunner.com says:

    what an interesting story, cant wait to hear more!

  16. Mrs. Newlywed says:

    I am so glad you are doing this!

    As you know we’re going to end up adopting, and while I have a number of friends who are adopted themselves it is nice to hear another point-of-view.

    so excited for these posts!

  17. Brooke says:

    I’m so excited to read all of your adoption posts!

  18. http://gokristen.wordpress.com says:

    This is great, I can’t wait for the upcoming posts on this.
    I know that if I ever have a hard time getting pregnant that I will adopt…that….and I don’t have a real desire to be pregnant :-)
    Weird…i know….

  19. Oz Runner says:

    great post…your adoptive parents sound like wonderful people…thanks for sharing

  20. Lou Lou says:

    I just loved reading this and I can’t wait for next week’s post!

  21. The Happy Runner says:

    OK, I got halfway through this and had to stop because I am crying. I will be back. When I’m feeling less emotional :-)

    I’m so glad you are writing about your adoption. I think it is terrific.

  22. Mrs. Smith says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful adoption story – it brought (some pretty serious) tears to my eyes. I am a social worker who has worked in foster care/adoption and whose best friend is adopted. I have the possibility of having some fertility issues of my own, and adoption is a very real future for me. Your story is extremely touching and I look forward to reading more of Adoption April!

  23. D10 says:

    I can’t wait for the next posts about you adoption. We celebrate the day we met Morgan and not “plane day” or the day she was officially ours as signed by the courts. To me she was officially mine from the moment I saw her.

  24. Kim says:

    Thanks for sharing.

  25. Mrs. D says:

    I think it’s great you are doing this series! I can’t wait to read more!
    Have a great week! :)

  26. RunToFinish says:

    in love with these posts already. thank you so much for sharing them!!

  27. Lacy says:

    I’m hooked!! What a beautiful story! We are currently going through infertility, so adoption is something I think about often. It is so neat to be able to see it from the other side, through your eyes. I can’t wait to hear more. Thank you for sharing your story!

  28. Texan Couture says:

    Thanks for your sharing your story, I look forward to following it!

  29. d.a.r. says:

    Thank you for sharing this personal story!

  30. lindsay says:

    love the story. can’t wait for what’s to come! love that they really put ‘baby girl’ for a short while. maybe mr. r can call you that too:)

  31. Ms. V. says:

    Oh sweetie, that was beautiful, and what a way to honor your mom today.

    I’m pretty sure you were in your Mom and Dad’s family long before you took your first breath…they just hadn’t met you yet.

    Wonderful. Thank you for sharing!

  32. Marlene says:

    Thanks for sharing a little bit about your story. I’m so glad things worked out well for you and your family.

    I also think it’s pretty cool that you have a “Baby Girl Anderson” bitch certificate.

  33. Tara says:

    Danica, this is truly amazing and wonderful that you are shairng this part of your life with fellow boggers! I’ve always thought adoption requires an amazing heart and love of life. It seems like your parents have all that and more. Looking forward to hearing more about you and your family :)

  34. onelittlejill says:

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful journey. I was looking foward to it!!

    My best friends mother passed away in May 2006 from what started as breast cancer but ended as “all-over” cancer. I do not know the personal struggle of losing one’s mother, I just know the pain of watching my friend go through it was one of the hardest things. I think it is wonderful that these posts began on what will always be a very stand-out day for you.

  35. Amanda says:

    Wonderful story, I can’t wait to read more. It almost made me cry thinking about you listening to that voicemail from your mom, and how excited they must have been to get that phone call!

  36. aron says:

    thank you so much for sharing danica!!! i see where you get your big heart from :) what an amazing story and i cant wait for the rest of the posts!

  37. Newlywed Next Door says:

    This is so great! Thanks for sharing your story! I can’t wait to hear the rest!

  38. Marlene says:

    I can’t believe I said “bitch certificate” – where do you get one of those anyway?? lol

  39. bri says:

    thanks so much for sharing your story!

  40. littlesack says:

    thanks for sharing this. looking fwd to next week’s post/.

  41. Denise says:

    I have chills and tears in my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t wait until next Monday!

  42. Lucky in Love says:

    What a great story to share! You were their miracle baby girl :)

  43. Megan says:

    As a new reader to your blog I love that you are sharing your story. I can’t wait for the rest of your adoption posts! Thanks for sharing!

  44. Niki says:

    Great post! Thanks for sharing:)

  45. Christine says:

    What an awesome story…so far. So sorry about the loss of your Mom. I know what that must have been like for you and it always hurts….even years later.

  46. Tania says:

    This is such a beatiful story! I’m excited to read the future ones! Thanks for sharing!

  47. Melanie says:

    Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the rest!

  48. Running Through Life says:

    How very cool of you to share. I look forward to reading more.

  49. Marci says:

    Thank you so much for sharing, you should become a spokesperson for the benefits of adoption.

  50. J says:

    Thanks for sharing!!!!!!

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